I apologize for the track that you're about to hear
It might cause internal bleeding all over your ear
But you'll listen to it anyway for you have no fear
I say: "Where is Belgium of the yesteryear?"
Uh, uh.
Yeah, aha.
Mmh, mmh, Belgium in the house.
You live in Colorado, you don't live in Tennessee
Bet you're pretty jealous 'cause you ain't got no sea
We got eleven days to vote in the NNMC
Why wait so long? It isn't this hard to see
May 14th, to avoid the Eurovision Week
Bulgaria goes first, and their song is kinda weak
Tryna tempt me with nude women, such a cheap trick
At least the beat is cool, man, that bass is kinda sick (
)
Pakistan's ballad, bores me to death
I was so hyped on my own song I must catch my breath
The 2nd letter in the Hebrew alphabet is Beth
But the singer here deserves my "nil" for using Crystal Meth (
)
Trinidad and Tobago may have caught my attention
Have I found my first top 10 song? Have my contention
Roy is unoriginal, even with this nation
Can't you find something better than abomination? (
)
Finally, the States got me writing down scores
No more fucking hatred and no more goddamn wars
Julia Brennan - Inner Demons, got me on all foors
In this beautiful comedown of revolving doors (
)
Moldova - I like it, just love the ethnic sound
My 12 points contender just might have been found
Now that I have heard it, my head is spinning round
Moldova can do miracles on NNMC ground (
)
The best bit of Malaysia's song is clearly the drop
It sounds pretty awesome but it'll still be a flop
But I've found a guilty pleasure in this very bop
But the language combination?
IT'S TIME TO STOP (
)
Liechtenstein, wow! What a great surprise!
Didn't expect my blown mind to capsize
Out of all the times that this tiny nation tries
This one is the best, we must all realize (
)
Italy slays me in an unexpected way
Lacuna Coil went when I wanted them to stay
But instead we got this, and you don't see me complain
Because when we got that, LC, go the eff away (
)
Denmark has talents way better than this
Zero points from me so they can hear my hiss (
)
Ireland's song is an entry you can't miss
The first four letters in Kristian are Kris (
)
Moving on, to song, number eleven
Usually the Kazakhs make me feel up in heaven
Out of one hundred, I'll give this one a seven
Apparently there is a prison in Iran named Evin (
)
Markus Riva, slay me, Latvia's the queen
He's either good or bad, though, and there's no in-between
I'll have to say "no" to this although he seems keen
Maybe he took too many shots of Caffeine (
)
The Spanish language's here to enchant me once again
They might as well just celebrate their win with champagne
'Cause if it's me you ask they deserve to go this lane
Let all the other countries sink down in the drain (
)
China can do better, as they already did
We'll see them next time when we fly to Madrid (
)
Venezuela confuses me (Ummm.. Like a squid?)
I am out of rhymes so let me think, um.. Eyelid! (
)
You think that you slay but you actually don't
I may give you points but I think that I won't
If you stay this egotistic you'll end up alone
At least you're kinda hot, so that's what keeps you well-known (
)
Lithuania, yet another IMF entry
Maybe others seem to like, but uh, well, not me
Perhaps it would do well but not in NNMC
Yes, it isn't NNM, it's
NNMC!
ffs.
( )Romania is confusing me in ways that are terrific
Those vocals are disturbing and the video is horrific
And loving three times is disturbingly specific
No points to this vast country that's usually prolific (
)
Saudi Arabia unexpectedly slays
If this were high school, I'd be giving out A's
Because this one is a bop that would always amaze
Twelve, twelve, twelve, each year three-sixty-five days (
)
Belgium Belgium Belgium Belgium Belgium
Belgium Belgium Belgium Belgium Belgium Belgium
Belgium Belgium Belgium Belgium Belgium
Belgium Belgium Belgium Belgium Belgium Belgium Belgium (
)
Turkmenistan is making an acoustic boring song
Laughing my ass off, though, this last name is so long
But are you sure that you have not spelled it wrong?
In all, Turkmenistan, brace for nil points and stay strong! (
)
Netherlands cruising their way to the top ten
I think of swapping with this country every now and then
This song for instance is better than anything Turkmen
The last three lines are false, so I'll apologize again (
)
Canada is so cute and they are BACK
I thought we might've lost them when they went out of track (
)
Bhutan's, on the other hand, disappointing as heck
At least they take us to some weird sort of throwback (
)
Turkey is too strange so my answer is no
Everybody in here's acting like just stubbed their toe
That's the only good excuse to cry like in that video
I mean, exceptions can be made if you've stepped on a LEGO. (
)
Andorra's sweet and I like it a little
I've made a big mistake and finished the first line with "little"
Nothing rhymes with this except the only rhyme for "little"
This song is soothing and sweet, so it's just like a skittle! (
)
Boom, bitch. 2K17.
Nailed it.
Word.