Logan
8 points
He/Him
12,699
16,635
Bitches never give a 10
|
Sexuality
Jan 26, 2015 3:09:35 GMT 1
via mobile
Post by Logan on Jan 26, 2015 3:09:35 GMT 1
Two girls asked me to be their boyfriend. I said no for obvious reasons
|
|
Logan
8 points
He/Him
12,699
16,635
Bitches never give a 10
|
Post by Logan on Jan 26, 2015 3:16:59 GMT 1
This is my story. The summary of it is: Be careful about your labels and if you want to/need to come out! So there's a *lot* of labelling happening in this thread. Which is fine, if you prefer to have a label, great, more power to you. But judging by what some of you have written, I'd advise you to maybe reconsider, especially those of you who say you've been attracted (either sexually or romantically) to both sexes. Because that label, even if it seems pointless, becomes a huge deal if you go public with it. My mistake was that I had some sort of sexual attraction to guys for the longest time, but never anything romantic. Then, all of a sudden, I started developing a crush on a girl. At the same time, I had a dream that led me to develop a crush on a guy. But, because I thought that romantic = sexual, I starting thinking "Oh shit, I'm really gay" and decided, after a lot of drama, to come out publicly on Facebook with a five paragraph long statement. That. Was. A. DISASTER. Within the day, I'd gotten a lot of support, but I didn't feel right on the inside. Finally, I hit my breaking point in the night and had to beg a friend to talk with me over Skype about it & what to do. Basically, I hadn't thought it out, and when I did label myself like that, I was only aligned to about a quarter of how I actually felt. For the most part, sex isn't an interesting prospect to me, but I did occasionally get turned on by guys. However, I had always fantasized about ending up romantically with a girl. So, I had to take it back. My closest friends went through it with me and they all were supportive. However, I just know some other people (including my father, which makes for the absolutely insane scenario of my father supporting my semi-existant gayness) never saw the "I made a mistake post" and still think I'm gay, which is the obvious conclusion to make. One person even said "This is a secret?"  Personally, I just never felt comfortable getting that personal with people I legit knew in person and would have to see. But, I fucked up and ended up having to, which sucked, but at least I learned a lesson, and I hope you can too. Tbh I prefer having a label on myself so people know exactly who I am. I don't think labels are bad it's just how some people respond to the label. If we didn't have labels the world would be a confusing and over complicated place just say I'm bi but I like men more than women or something like that. We all have to remember that acceptance towards homosexuality has been a really small part of human history and like other things the world as a whole will adapt their culture to accept it. Like women in jobs that were seen as manly jobs. |
|
nick
Retired Moderator
he/him
|
Post by nick on Jan 26, 2015 5:26:20 GMT 1
This is my story. The summary of it is: Be careful about your labels and if you want to/need to come out! So there's a *lot* of labelling happening in this thread. Which is fine, if you prefer to have a label, great, more power to you. But judging by what some of you have written, I'd advise you to maybe reconsider, especially those of you who say you've been attracted (either sexually or romantically) to both sexes. Because that label, even if it seems pointless, becomes a huge deal if you go public with it. My mistake was that I had some sort of sexual attraction to guys for the longest time, but never anything romantic. Then, all of a sudden, I started developing a crush on a girl. At the same time, I had a dream that led me to develop a crush on a guy. But, because I thought that romantic = sexual, I starting thinking "Oh shit, I'm really gay" and decided, after a lot of drama, to come out publicly on Facebook with a five paragraph long statement. That. Was. A. DISASTER. Within the day, I'd gotten a lot of support, but I didn't feel right on the inside. Finally, I hit my breaking point in the night and had to beg a friend to talk with me over Skype about it & what to do. Basically, I hadn't thought it out, and when I did label myself like that, I was only aligned to about a quarter of how I actually felt. For the most part, sex isn't an interesting prospect to me, but I did occasionally get turned on by guys. However, I had always fantasized about ending up romantically with a girl. So, I had to take it back. My closest friends went through it with me and they all were supportive. However, I just know some other people (including my father, which makes for the absolutely insane scenario of my father supporting my semi-existant gayness) never saw the "I made a mistake post" and still think I'm gay, which is the obvious conclusion to make. One person even said "This is a secret?" Personally, I just never felt comfortable getting that personal with people I legit knew in person and would have to see. But, I fucked up and ended up having to, which sucked, but at least I learned a lesson, and I hope you can too. Tbh I prefer having a label on myself so people know exactly who I am. I don't think labels are bad it's just how some people respond to the label. If we didn't have labels the world would be a confusing and over complicated place just say I'm bi but I like men more than women or something like that. We all have to remember that acceptance towards homosexuality has been a really small part of human history and like other things the world as a whole will adapt their culture to accept it. Like women in jobs that were seen as manly jobs. That makes total sense. Like, if you feel better with a label, by all means, go out and find one. That's what I did, and I decided that, at least to myself or in situations with people who know how annoying this topic is, I'll say I'm a heteroromantic asexual, which makes me feel best and describes me best. And then, if someone just needs a fast answer, I'll say straight.  |
|
|
|
Post by Laurinda on Jan 26, 2015 13:03:22 GMT 1
This thread was created for sharing your experiences. If you think it's oversharing, you don't have to share or read anything. I still think it's easier to share it here vs. friends and family.
I currently identify myself as heteroromantic demisexual (and yes, it's complicated). I don't feel the need to tell this to my friends and/or family. This would only be a matter to discuss with my potential partner if necessary. So let me explain my demisexuality. To me physical apperance and personality (primary sexual attraction) don't matter. I feel sexually attracted to people after I have established emotional (non-romantic) connection with them (secondary sexual attraction). Dating is a torture for me. I don't know them, I need a long time, I just want to be friends first to see if there is any potential. In this fast-paced lifestyle nobody is really interested in going slow. And it's hard. On the other hand I'm not demiromantic and I fall for people of opposite gender. Maybe this explains it better: Primary Sexual Attraction: A sexual attraction to people based on instantly available information (such as their appearance or smell) which may or may not lead to arousal or sexual desire. Secondary Sexual Attraction: A sexual attraction that develops over time based on a person's relationship and emotional connection with another person. Primary Sexual Desire: The desire to engage in sexual activity for the purposes of personal pleasure whether physical, emotional, or both. Secondary Sexual Desire: The desire to engage in sexual activity for the purposes other than personal pleasure, such as the happiness of the other person involved or the conception of children.  Source: www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Primary_vs._secondary_sexual_attraction_model |
|
Rick
Retired Administrator
12,513
25,981
Did it frighten you, how we kissed when we danced on the light up floor?
|
Post by Rick on Jan 26, 2015 15:06:47 GMT 1
I consider myself as hetero, given the fact I'm in a relationship since february last year. Unlike many teens of my age (16-17), who only get engaged to be swaggy, I feel like we really love eachother: this is definitely the main reason why the relationship lasted really long so far (and will hopefully last further). About sex / sexuality, it's something me and Liis have considered a couple of times, but.. we aren't really ready for it, even though we really went around it in many occasions. I'm a really accepting person too, and I honestly don't think people should be worried about their own sexuality, or "coming out", "revealing" and such. It's like a personal taste, which doesn't affect anyone else but the partner, so yeah. I can see myself being bi too sometimes, as I can tell if a guy is attractive, good-looking, handsome and everything you want, but I don't imagine myself getting into guys, idk if that makes sense  As Logan said, I think it's just a matter of time for homosexuality to be slowly accepted into society - like women getting the right to vote or to work in "manly" places. Newer generations are getting more and more open-minded, so that's a good part  I'm pretty sure there's nobody 100% hetero anyway. |
|
|
|
Post by Laurinda on Jan 26, 2015 15:56:11 GMT 1
I'm pretty sure there's nobody 100% hetero anyway. That's why I added Kinsey scale in the first post. I rate myself as 1 In other words, I do occasionally feel sexually attracted to women (I can consider them beautiful and sexy), but don't fall in love with them or want to have sex with them. |
|
|
|
Post by Julian on Jan 26, 2015 15:59:09 GMT 1
Laurinda I don't know if that's too private but may I ask: you said that you lived in a lie (or with a lie idk). What did you mean exactly with that ? If you don't want to answer this question, it's okay 
|
|
|
|
Post by Laurinda on Jan 26, 2015 16:06:03 GMT 1
Laurinda I don't know if that's too private but may I ask: you said that you lived in a lie (or with a lie idk). What did you mean exactly with that ? If you don't want to answer this question, it's okay I thought no one would ask Well I though I was just heterosexual, which is quite far from heteroromantic demisexual and I only learned this a few months ago. I just knew I wasn't like everyone else. Being demisexual and asexual is even harder because people don't know about it. My boudaries of oversharing are not very defined |
|
Logan
8 points
He/Him
12,699
16,635
Bitches never give a 10
|
Post by Logan on Jan 26, 2015 20:10:15 GMT 1
The other thing that really scares me is that I'm the only gay person in my whole family so I have no support like that.
|
|
|
|
Post by Julian on Jan 26, 2015 20:13:01 GMT 1
The other thing that really scares me is that I'm the only gay person in my whole family so I have no support like that. +1 |
|
