Sexuality

At my lows, this is what I've thought several times.

However, I know people who met their partner like at their thirties and they're happy. What I want to say is, you can't rule out the possibility, I heck know how hard it is to find people similar to one's personality, let alone to meet THAT person you want to spend your life with, but it can happen, you never know.

In my case, once I start to feel lonely, to feel the need to be with someone, then I'll start searching anywhere I can. Until then I'm open for possibilities, also I think I'm still fairly young so I'm not in a rush either.

If you don't want to be lonely, you can't just close your mind, there's A LOT of people. There's one specific case I saw online, you can imagine the weirdest tumblr freak with the weirdest sex desire you can imagine, he shared all his story online, and at the age of 30, someone from the other side of the world came to live with him, he had the same desire he had. I can't say the deails in here but I can tell you through PM if you ask me

MY POINT IS: if you don't want to be lonely, there's someone out there as weird as you are, it's not easy to find him, but you can't just say ''I accept I'll be lonely for the rest of my life'' if you really don't want to be so.

 So plis don't say nothing or forever if you don't know de future boys! 

I didnt say that

About this post I made two years ago.
I feel like I'm kind of a different person now when it comes to a lot of things, I'd probably not label myself as gay nor anything else anymore as I just prefer to not give myself any labels anymore. Here's why.

I've come to realise that I'm not gay, because while I do find myself interested in men generally, at least as of late I've been getting really weird "vibes" for girls and I'm not sure how I'd go about this. But at the same time, I'm not bisexual, because despite what I said before, I do not find myself having any sort of uniform interest between guys and girls.

I don't want to label myself as "demisexual" or anything similar to that either, because it's not just an issue of whether I find myself sexually attracted to someone, it's an issue of who the person is, and obviously I mean that's normal - until it gets to the point where I can find myself romantically interested in someone, but not sexually and vice versa. When I feel like hugging and kissing that person, but the thought of having sex with them -- okay for real, it doesn't even gross me out because I it generally doesn't even cross my mind.

Sometimes I feel like I may be heteroromantic and homosexual, which is such a weird combination but as time goes on, I realise that asking a guy on a date and being just overall romantic with him isn't just often what I'd want and my thoughts will ponder right to the sexual world. I really struggle to imagine myself living for the rest of my life with a man, but at the same time I know it would be absolutely impossible for me to commit like that to a woman as well.

It's really just a period of a whole lot of confusion, but I try to put it behind me and as there really is no one around me at this time that I find myself either romantically or sexually interested in, save a few kinda-sorta-half-crushes (you know, when you look at a person and you kind of see something in them but not really, that kind of crushes), I'm able to live freely without having to even think about it - it's just moments like this when I worry about my future.