Daniel
Retired Administrator
He/any
18,846
55,118
Dell powers
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Post by Daniel on Apr 28, 2019 23:09:19 GMT 1
 SEASON 6 · EPISODE 1  |
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agni
Retired Moderator
they/them
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Post by agni on Apr 29, 2019 0:33:39 GMT 1
PHÚC NG BÍCH
week 1 -- the entire herstory of you
gay angels by perfume genius
timeslot: 2:35
im gay, im an angel and i only speak in gibberish.
one of the first songs i've listened to by perfume genius. the video with the song makes me feel things i cant describe with words, and even if it's all in gibberish, i've never related more to a song.
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2,184
4,783
I Don't Wanna Feel Blue Anymore
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Post by Argüello on Apr 29, 2019 7:12:25 GMT 1
First Challenge
First Week ♦ the entire herstory of you ♦
Flood On The Water By Purity Ring
timeslot: 1:43
''She lost her voice down by the river
Screamin' for courage, take oceans and her''
Since I was little I had always been insecure, didn't believe in myself, just did what people wanted me to do
''Don't forget the way she pushed the water inside
Wading through the spirits like a flood on the floor
Don't forget, forget, don't forget, forget
Don't forget, forget, don't forget''
These lyrics simbolize all the power that has always been inside of me, now that I know that I'm worthy and I can do whatever I put myself in mind, there is no stopping me, this songs it's a whole experience and everytime I listen to it I remember I'm no longer that small insecure boy, I'm ready to take the world. Don't forget, forget, don't forget''
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Post by Julian on Apr 29, 2019 10:42:44 GMT 1
 Gabrielle Aplin • "My Mistake"Recap time: 3:35+
As I explained in this post, I have Schizoid Personality Disorder and while at first I wasn't sure what to send for this challenge, I eventually thought that it might be a good idea to send a song about that, since it's a challenge about our life after all. This song was chosen by me because I can really relate to the lyrics. Even though this song wasn't written about SPD, I still recognise myself in most of the lyrics. While I don't think that I'd be able to change, sometimes I just feel bad about myself and my life and wish I could be a different person in order to be less lonely and isolated and obviously I also often wonder why I am the way I am. It's a weird feeling when you have two conflicting desires in your heart (isolation and contact). Overall I'm happy with my life and everything but yeah, this song perfectly sums up how I feel when I'm unhappy and how I act most of the time which is why I think it's a great match for this week.
Lyrics:
I got up late again today
And I'm scared of everything
I don't dare to dream
I guard a dark imagination
These hours waste away
A debt I'll never pay
I'm talking to the walls
But the walls keep caving in
They amplify my thoughts
I really want a conversation
But I let it slip away
A debt I'll never pay
Worry, worry, oh
It's funny how it changes
When nothing really changes at all
Am I jaded?
Am I meant to feel this way?
I'm a loser, getting beat by my own game
But if I falter, well at least it was my mistake
Oh, at least it was my mistake
'Cause I choose to be this way
I'm a loser, and I self-deprecate
So when I falter, well at least it was my mistake
I saw my friend today
She tried to comfort me
But I turned her away
There's magic in this misery
So no matter what you say
I don't think I'll ever change
Worry, worry, oh
It's funny how it changes
When nothing really changes at all
Am I jaded?
Am I meant to feel this way?
I'm a loser, getting beat by my own game
But if I falter, well at least it was my mistake
Well at least it was my mistake
'Cause I choose to be this way
I'm a loser, and I self-deprecate
So when I falter, well at least it was my mistake
And I don't really care about what anyone says
I don't give a damn about what anyone says
I don't want to think about anything
I don't want to think about anything
And I don't really care about what anyone says
I don't need opinions hanging over my head
I don't really care about anything
I don't really care
I don't really care at all
Am I jaded?
Am I meant to feel this way?
I'm a loser, getting beat by my own game
But if I falter, well at least it was my mistake
Well, at least it was my mistake
'Cause I choose to be this way
I'm a loser, and I self-deprecate
So when I falter, well at least it was my mistake
Well, at least it was my mistake
Well, at least it was my mistake |
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Aglan
5 points
He/Him
2,760
5,862
More Fighting
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Post by Aglan on Apr 29, 2019 15:17:39 GMT 1
Generic White GirlNF - Paralyzed Timeslot: 3:24 Fun fact: This was my second choice for the first week in season 2 but I didn't want to come across as a massive emo and didn't send it in the end. Anyway, anybody who knows me irl knows how much I love NF's songs. When I saw the theme of this challenge, I knew this was my choice. During my elementary years, I always said and did things that I was thinking will make me more popular and more "Perfect" person in the eyes of others. I lied about my hobbies, favorites things and I even made up fake stories to make myself more interesting. (BTW It didn't work at all) In eight grade I did many things that I don't want to talk about because I regret them a lot, I did them because I was thinking that's who I am but in reality it was what the others wanted and I just wanted to be """Good""" person in their eyes. After ninth grade. I was a ball of lies in front of my "friends" who all turned their backs to me and the worst part about that is that I didn't even knew who I was. Around this time I found NF and and this song. When I heard the first time, it felt like I was listening to a song about my life past nine years and I started to have my own opinion on things. And in high school I made friends by being myself and I truly grateful to come across NF cause he made me relize something I was avoiding for my whole life. Lyrics: When did I become so numb?
When did I lose myself?
All the words that leave my tongue
Feel like they came from someone else
I'm paralyzed
Where are my feelings?
I no longer feel things
I know I should
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me?
I’m lost and it kills me inside
I'm paralyzed
When did I become so cold?
When did I become ashamed? (oh)
Where's the person that I know?
They must have left
They must have left
With all my faith
I'm paralyzed
Where are my feelings?
I no longer feel things
I know I should
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me?
I’m lost and it kills me inside
I'm paralyzed
I'm paralyzed
I'm scared to live but I'm scared to die
And if life is pain then I buried mine a long time ago
But it's still alive
And it's taking over me where am I?
I wanna feel something, I'm numb inside
But I feel nothing, I wonder why
And on the race of life time passes by
Look
I sit back and I watch it, hands in my pockets
Waves come crashing over me but I just watch 'em
I just watch 'em
I'm under water but I feel like I'm on top of it
I'm at the bottom and I don’t know what the problem is
I'm in a box
But I’m the one who locked me in
Suffocating and I'm running out of oxygen
I'm paralyzed
Where are my feelings?
I no longer feel things
I know I should
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me?
I’m lost and it kills me inside
I'm paralyzed (I'm just so paralyzed)
Where are my feelings? (yeah, I'm just so paralyzed)
I no longer feel things (I have no feelings)
I know I should (oh how come I’m not moving why aren’t I moving ay yeah)
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me? (where is the real me, where is the real me?)
I'm lost and it kills me inside (I'm paralyzed, I'm paralyzed)
I'm paralyzed (I'm paralyzed) |
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Eke
Technical Staff
they/them/any
6,635
30,736
but it's me who makes myself mad
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Post by Eke on Apr 29, 2019 15:50:12 GMT 1
 "FAKE HAPPY"
Paramore
3:08+
I'm choosing this song because it's a song that definitely describes my life for around the last half-decade. Throughout this time I've had many struggles, but despite everything, I've always held those emotions locked deep inside me and have always pretended everything was well, even to the closest people in my life.
Hey, if I smile with my teeth
Bet you believe me
If I smile with my teeth
I think I believe me
Even to myself.
You see, it's easy when I'm stompin' on a beat
But no one sees me when I crawl back underneath
I definitely sulk in my feelings a lot when no one else is around. It's "easy" when I'm doing things that keep my mind off it, but the feelings really come out when I'm alone, and that's when the "fake happy" disappears.
Oh please, don't ask me how I've been
Don't make me play pretend
Only today did someone ask me how I've been, and my first instinct was to say "I've been well, things have been quiet" which is what I always say. The person that asked me is thankfully a close friend and I am able to confide in her, but even still, instinctively I would always just pretend to be fine.
Oh please, I bet everybody here is fake happy too
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. And most people are good at hiding their true emotions, it's very hard to tell what someone is truly feeling inside. It's definitely sad, and I often wish I just had the courage to open up more, because despite having people I feel most comfortable or close to that I can confide in, I will never truly open up fully to them or even really be able to do it, because I always just struggle to find the words.
There's only been a few periods in my life when I've felt truly happy, primarily in my childhood, the rest of my life I've been "fake happy". I also chose this song because of how uplifting it sounds, despite the lyrics. Depression and sadness don't always have to go hand in hand with melancholy; plus the song itself is a representation of the feeling of "fake happy", with the lyrics representing how you really feel, whilst the music represents the facade you put on.
| LYRICS
I love making you believe
What you get is what you see
But I'm so fake happy
I feel so fake happy
And I bet everybody here
Is just as insincere
We're all so fake happy
And I know fake happy
So I been doin' a good job
Of makin' 'em think
I'm quite alright
Better hope I don't blink
You see, it's easy when I'm stompin' on a beat
But no one sees me when I crawl back underneath
Hey, if I smile with my teeth
Bet you believe me
If I smile with my teeth
I think I believe me
Oh please, don't ask me how I've been
Don't make me play pretend
Oh no, oh what's the use?
Oh please, I bet everybody here is fake happy too
If I go out tonight
Dress up my fears
You think I look alright with these mascara tears?
See, I'm gonna draw up my lipstick wider than my mouth
And if the lights are low, they'll never see me frown
Hey, if I smile with my teeth
Bet you believe me
If I smile with my teeth
I think I believe me
Oh please, don't ask me how I've been
Don't make me play pretend
Oh no, oh oh, what's the use?
Oh please, I bet everybody here is fake happy too
I know I said that I was doing good and that I'm happy now
Ooh ooh
I shoulda known that when things were going good
That's when I'd get knocked down
Ba-da-da-da-da-da
Ba-da-da-da-da-da
Ba-da-da-da-da-da
Ba-da-da-da-da-da
Ba-da-da-da-da-da
Ba-da-da-da-da-da
Ba-da-da-da-da-da
Ba-da-da-da-da-da
Oh please, just don't ask me how I've been
Don't make me play pretend
Oh no, oh no
Oh, what's the use?
Oh please, I bet everybody here is fake happy too
Oh please, I bet everybody here is fake happy too
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Post by James on Apr 29, 2019 16:14:53 GMT 1
Terra Yaki!!
Sorry about the quality of the post itself but I can only use my phone so woops
(2:40-)
This song has many layers of meaning for my life. The song talks about traveling on a road to a town, the significance of this town isn’t clear. For my life, I have lived in four different towns and each town added a layer to who I am. Although ive moved to many places, I’ll never forget my roots, my family and my hometown. I am always traveling on a road and each stop makes me more complete. There is also a line saying “kaeritai, kaerenai” which means “ i want to return, I cannot return”. There are times where I want to go back to the past and change things I did, said and choices I made. I feel upset when thinking of what could have been. For example, I wish I found love while in high school and didn’t let my anxiety and depression hinder me as much as it did. The last line “sayonara” says goodbye to these towns and memories. I won’t forget them but I’ll accept that I can’t change them. These struggles from the past made me grow as I continue my life path. The song is also in Japanese, which is symbolic to me because I moved to Japan. The song is a Japanese cover of the American song “country roads”. It symbolizes my “furosato, hometown” but also shows my new home in japan. I will adapt here but I’ll never forget my roots and my homeland. This song gives me happy feelings and is very personal to me.
Lyrics:
English Translation
* Country road
Kono michi Zutto Yukeba
Ano machi ni Tsuzuiteru Ki ga suru
Country road
Country road
If you follow this road onward
It continues to that town, I think
Country road
Hitori botchi Osorezuni
Ikiyou to Yume miteta
Samishisa Oshi komete
Tsuyoi jibun o Mamotte iko
By myself, without feat
I dreamed of going
Shutting up my loneliness
Protecting my strong self, I'll go
* repeat
* repeat
Aruki tsukare Tatazumu to
Ukande kuru Furusato no machi
Oka o maku Saka no michi
Sonna boku o Shikatte iru
Getting tired of walking then standing still
Floating closer, my hometown
The uphill road winding around the hill
I'm scolding that me
* repeat
* repeat
Donna kujike souna toki datte
Keshite namida wa misenaide
Kokoro nashi ka houchou ga hayaku natte iku
Omoide Kesu tame
No matter what discouraging times there are
I'll never show any tears
Without heart, I'll hurry and set myself free
In order to get rid of my memories
Country road
Kono michi Furusato e Tsuzuitemo
Boku wa Yukanai sa Yukanai
Country road
Country road
Even though this road continues to my hometown
I just can't go, I can't go
Country road
Country road
Ashita wa Itsumo no Boku sa
Kaeritai Kaerenai Sayonara
Country road
Country road
Tomorrow, the me I always am
I want to go back, but I can't, farewell
Country road
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2,506
6,990
You're Stuck on Me Like a Tatoo
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Post by Wysteria on Apr 29, 2019 16:49:58 GMT 1
* * "STOCK IMAGE "
Miya Folick
1:56+
This song actually depicts (at least in my head when I read the lyrics) about a person with both social and confidence trouble. About someone who constantly tries too hard to not be himself at times, so he decides to hides himself from the world or from his outline.
This song generally represents the inner-dialog of yourself and your confidence to be happy, to feel smth when in reality you struggle to recognize if you have a personality at all. As someone who barely walks out of his comfort zone, who tries too much to communicate only so he can escape after 5min and tries to forget all bad and embarrassing things and keeps trying to be something he is not so he could feel more comfortable.
I originally wanted to send Talking with Strangers but as that song is quite Unoriginal at this point, I optioned for another Miya song that depicts the similar problem of self-doubt and hiding from your true intentions and wishes just so you feel safe and "happy".
Lines I think really depicts me:
"Feeling Empty outside your outline":
- Me not being able to feel safe outside my home and with people around me most of the times having the feeling you don't have nothing interesting to say
"I see it, I'm killing doubts":
- this line intrigued me as I have doubts and it doesn't fit with my vision of the song but as the song represents the inner-conversation, this actually means the opposite, your mind trying to kill or hide your doubts so you feel safe.
"Won't get out until the water's cold and I am blue":
- Being afraid to step outside your comfort zone until you really have to
"Look in the mirror till I forget
Everything I know, everything I did
Was just a way to make the time feel faster:"
- Me trying to forget all embarrassing stuff in my life, but only just so I make time fly faster and people to forget it too and make me live on despite of unsolved business or it eating me inside while I do that.
"Shave my head in your bathroom
Sweep my hair under your bed":
- the term "your" could mean that I am doing something personal inside someone else's house or in this case brain. Also hair is part of the personal style. I see this as an attempt to be someone else so you feel better about yourself which is sometimes I occasionally do.
"Colour in, colour in
Feeling empty outside of your outline
You scratch at the door of the divine
Within, colour in
You can't stand the greatness of sunshine
You hide in the bones of a stock image
Of a stock image
You hide in the bones of a stock image":
- Chorus depicts on me constantly telling myself to be happy, cheerful, someone else despite me not being that and I only scratch on that door, not enter it. It is only a stock image of myself.
Stock Image in this songs represents the fake perfect personality that I show myself as but in reality I am being eaten inside by my doubts and my problems that I keep avoiding. | LYRICS
Bathe myself in the afternoon
Won't get out until the water's cold and I am blue
I see it, I'm killing doubts
So I just open up the door and I ring it out
Don't you get too far from yourself
You're so hard on yourself
Oh, you'll get through
Only hard when you say it's too hard
Colour in, colour in
Feeling empty outside of your outline
You scratch at the door of the divine
Within, colour in
You can't stand the greatness of sunshine
You hide in the bones of a stock image
Shave my head in your bathroom
Sweep my hair under your bed
Look in the mirror till I forget
Everything I know, everything I did
Was just a way to make the time feel faster
Oh, you'll get through
Only hard when you say it's too hard
Colour in, colour in
Feeling empty outside of your outline
You scratch at the door of the divine
Within, colour in
You can't stand the greatness of sunshine
You hide in the bones of a stock image
Of a stock image
You hide in the bones of a stock image
Bathe myself in the afternoon
Won't get out until the water's cold and I am blue
I see it, I'm killing doubts
So I just open up the door
Colour in, colour in
Feeling empty outside of your outline
You scratch at the door of the divine
Within, colour in
You can't stand the greatness of sunshine
You hide in the bones of a stock image
Of a stock image
You hide in the bones of a stock image
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Luiri
FBA Reference Group
he/him
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Post by Luiri on Apr 29, 2019 17:24:46 GMT 1
 "VENDEZ-NOUS DU RÊVE"
en: SELL US SOME DREAM
by LIV
1:49+
I may not be the only one relating to this song, in fact, I believe that most people that are the same age than me, or the singer (22, aka, born in 1996), may get connected to the lyrics.
This song talks about that period when you just turned 18 to 21/22, being a transition between our parents, our past, and our future, our little siblings or our childrens. Being on this period of transition between our teenager life, and our adult life.
For me, this period was just a huge struggle to live, between my family problems, and my situation (forced to stop school, moving to a department when you're my age, there is nothing, etc...), and I also asked me tons of time "but how I can be an adult ?" I still don't know how to be an adult, and I know I am not the only one on this case.
The title of the song, Vendez-Nous du Rêve, in English, Sell us some dream, means that someone is knowingly liying; or to promise things that will never come true, just to get the good graces of the interlocutor. | LYRICS (FRENCH, ENGLISH LYRICS IN SPOILER)
Tombé du haut de la lune
L’espoir au corps
Génération d’infortune
Tirée au sort
Déchus les anges sans plumes
Dormir dehors
Génération sans rancune
Nous on fait le mort
Vendez-nous du rêve
Avant que tout s’achève
Nous sommes la relève
Vendez- nous du rêve
Je vous parle d’un temps
Que les moins de vingt ans
Voudraient tellement connaître
Sans mépris et sans haine
Nous prendrons la relève
Vers de nouveaux horizons
Vendez-nous du rêve
Du rêve
Sous vos décombres qui fument
On cherche encore
Des fleurs naissant du bitume
Pourraient éclore
Nous n’avons pas d’amertume
Quand on s’endort
Génération vingt-et-une
On attend l’aurore
Falling from the top of the moon
Hope to the body
Generation of misfortune
Randomly drawn
Falling angels without feathers
Sleeping outside
Generation without hard feelings
We are making the deads
Sell us some dream
Before everything ends
We are the next generation
Sell us some dream
I'm talking about a time
That the under twenties
Would like to know so much
Without contempt and without hatred
We will take over
Towards new horizons
Sell us some dream
Of some dream
Under your rubble who smoke
We are still looking
Flowers arising from bitumen
Could hatch
We do not have bitterness
When we fall asleep
Generation twenty-one
We wait for the dawn |
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Post by ~Rethnas~ on Apr 29, 2019 23:05:36 GMT 1
DYSLEXYA
"Beautiful Pain"
Tessa Dixson I chose this song because it really speaks to me on a personal level about the beautiful pain that is love for me. I'll try to explain the struggles like always needing acceptance and not feeling good enough that I go through with love with the lyrics Lyrics
Taking your time
Taking your time
Making your mind up
What you remind
What you remind
What you remind me of
this part really speaks to me because i'm always doubting myself once I'm in a relationship and it always seems to affect him in a way that I drive him even further and further away from me because I'm not only doubting myself but also doubting my feelings and if it's really love or not
If you in my bed
Feeling so ready to make it out
Don't wanna hold
Don't wanna hold
Don't wanna hold on
Making it hard
Making it, making it hard to know, oh
You, I do it again
You and I, beautiful pain
again this part speaks to me because i always want to talk about how I feel and I always want to make it out and talk about our feelings, but in the end I always forgot it's always only me that needs to talk about my feelings and I forgot his. Wich lately maked me realise I always need acceptance in a relationship, and in conclusion me acting that way drove him even more further
Hold me so closely
Take charge like you own me
My heart locked in chains
It bends and it breaks
How long can I stay here
Mind hazy, so unclear
this is for me the most important part of the song as for me it really is about how I do need acceptance all the time, and by needing acceptance al the time i become a person who would literally do everything for him just so he would like me and at the same time doubting everything that I do. And that comes across as very unstable and it keeps me from getting a stable and healty relationship, because I'm in the way of my own happiness in some kind of way.
Maybe I should raise a glass, or two
Reminisce about the good times with you
instead of overthinking about all these things I should enjoy it more at the moment and not after the relationship ended, because I remember blaiming him for all the problems I had within relationships but it in the end it's me who can't enjoy the moment by always needing the confirmation he really likes me for who I am
I gotta go, I gotta go now
You wanna know
You wanna know why I can't see this out, no
You I won't do this again
You and I beautiful pain
this part of the lyrics speaks to me in the perspective of the other person in the relationship, I need to understand that I need to stop being so insecure even when I have a person with me that loves me
Hold me so closely
Take charge like you own me
My heart locked in chains
It bends and it breaks
How long can I stay here
Mind hazy, so unclear
Maybe I should raise a glass, or two
Reminisce about the good times with you
Taking your time
Taking your time
Making your mind up
What you remind
What you remind
What you remind me of
I gotta go, I gotta go now
You wanna know
You wanna know why I can't see this out
Beautiful pain, I
Hold me so closely
Take charge like you own me
My heart locked in chains
It bends and it breaks
How long can I stay here
Mind hazy, so unclear
Maybe I should raise a glass, or two
Reminisce about the good times with you
In the end this song also speaks to me on so many levels because lately it helped me realising I need time for myself to work things out before I'm ready to go back to the beautiful pain that love is and making this post really is helping me too to write down my feelings more and I'm thinking about doing it more often now as it really seems to help me a lot |
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