Aliya
Administrator
she/her
1,480
4,674
God made me an Aquarius, to make my life luxurious ♒️
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Post by Aliya on Nov 7, 2019 1:59:10 GMT 1
.: feralia :.
melissa vanfleet | marionette
(1:56+)
~ the fear of being controlled ~
one of my biggest fears is to be controlled by someone which won't let go no matter what.
an abusive partner or friend, to be precise.
as in "if i can't have you, no one else will".
"marionette" tells the story of two characters, the puppet and the mastermind, both in which are closely tied to each other. however, things turn sour real quick, and while the puppet attempts to escape the toxic environment it's been in - the mastermind will not let it go that easily.
the puppet reaches a point where everything can be deceiving and doesn't reflect the reality, turning itself into an object both physically and mentally, entirely subordinated to the mastermind, which in their eyes became the devil.
there is no way back.
and even if you try, there's no escape. it's like a maze without an exit.
and you're trapped forever. |
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Luiri
FBA Reference Group
he/him
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Post by Luiri on Nov 7, 2019 17:53:34 GMT 1
yellew marzulum EPISODE 1: WHAT'S YOUR BOGGART?it may just sounds like a dumb fear, but I'm actually fearing to live my life, I'm 23yo, i've been never getting much "independence" from my parents, and the fact that during my life, I have been bullied in school, treated like nothing at home by my mother, and now that I suffer from all of this throughdepression, agoraphobia & anxiety, I just don't know what's living a good live.the song I am sending this week is Paralyzed by NF, an American rapper, and here's a part of the lyrics that caught me off:« I'm paralyzed
I'm scared to live but I'm scared to die
And if life is pain then I buried mine a long time ago
But it's still alive
And it's taking over me where am I?
I wanna feel something, I'm numb inside
But I don't feel nothing, I wonder why
I'm in the race of life and time passed by »I don't know if it's a suitable song for HMH, but for me, it is a suitable song to talk about my fear.2:28+
lyrics:
When did I become so numb?
When did I lose myself?
All the words that leave my tongue
Feel like they came from someone else
I'm paralyzed
Where are my feelings?
I no longer feel things
I know I should
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me?
I'm lost and it kills me inside
I'm paralyzed
When did I become so cold?
When did I become ashamed? (oh)
Where's the person that I know?
They must have left
They must have left
With all my faith
I'm paralyzed
Where are my feelings?
I no longer feel things
I know I should
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me?
I'm lost and it kills me inside
I'm paralyzed
I'm paralyzed
I'm scared to live but I'm scared to die
And if life is pain then I buried mine a long time ago
But it's still alive
And it's taking over me where am I?
I wanna feel something, I'm numb inside
But I don't feel nothing, I wonder why
I'm in the race of life and time passed by
Look, I sit back and I watch it
Hands in my pockets
Waves come crashing over me but I just watch 'em
I just watch 'em
I'm underwater but I feel like I'm on top of it
I'm at the bottom and I don't know what the problem is
I'm in a box
But I'm the one who locked me in
Suffocating and I'm running out of oxygen
I'm paralyzed
Where are my feelings?
I no longer feel things
I know I should
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me?
I'm lost and it kills me inside
I'm paralyzed (I'm just so paralyzed)
Where are my feelings? (yeah, I'm just so paralyzed)
I no longer feel things (I have no feelings)
I know I should (oh how come I'm not moving why aren't I moving ay yeah)
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me? (where is the real me, where is the real me?)
I'm lost and it kills me inside (I'm paralyzed, I'm paralyzed)
I'm paralyzed (I'm paralyzed) |
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2,405
9,346
I am sinking in his skin
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Post by ClassifiedCat on Nov 7, 2019 19:56:27 GMT 1
DONNA THE DYKE
WEEK 1
WHAT'S YOUR BOGGART?
Buckets
Elohim
(1:54-2:19)
(0:30-1:00)
Initially, "Buckets" begins with a message of hope, which represents the apex of a personal bonding. From there, it's only destined to go downhill. The amount of information that needs to be processed is getting too much to bear. This then results in the abandonment of the other person, which is what I'm afraid of. Whether that be me abandoning the other person, or the other person abandoning me after a mess that has become too big to handle together. That they would leave me without a single word, with no compassion and no grace. And that then they would continue to lead their life as if nothing had happened.
You left me out in the rain like I was nothin'
You ain't nothin', you're just frontin'
Walkin' 'round like you above it
Abandonment isn't merely a physical action. It's also a mental and emotional one. To not tend to the emotional and spiritual needs of the person, to leave them essentially "out in the rain" or "in the dark". Abandonment has many facets which makes it such a complex fear in that there are many ways to be abandoned, which broadens the scope of the reactions that come from that.
The song talks about the fact that the mess isn't one person's fault alone, which plays into my fear. "I'm making a mess" and "You make me sick to my stomach" shows off that both parties were at fault for the eventual abandonment.
The word Bucket represents the attempt of getting over the fear. To collect all of your baggage and to vomit it out into a singular item, to overload it with your problems, in an attempt to solve the issues that you have in your life. This is in stark contrast to the other songs this week, as my song also talks about how to deal with your fear, as well as to eventually overcome it.
Everything looks beautiful
After the rain, after the rain
"Buckets" has quite a powerful feeling to it, edged further by the electronic influences that permeate throughout the song. These sounds work together to create the ambience of one's mind when they are abandoned. A cacophony of feelings and emotions meshed up together in continuous loud screams is what I think represents the confusion, resentment and distress that would happen to me if I were to be abandoned, or if I were to abandon.
Suddenly I'm filled with hope
Today's much better than the day before
Everything looks beautiful
After the rain, after the rain
My world's in color now
My eyes get wide tryna take it in
Everything is good somehow
After the rain, after the rain
Buckets
Filling up my cup like fuck it
I'm running
Make a mess Wu-Tang bring the ruckus
I'm making a mess
Suck it (suck it)
You left me out in the rain like I was nothin'
You ain't nothin', you're just frontin'
Walkin' 'round like you above it
You ain't above it, you're fuckin' budget
You make me sick to my stomach
I might throw up in a bucket
No more black clouds of dust
I can see forever if I wanted to
It's clearer than it ever was
After the rain, after the rain
Sometimes it hurts so much
Before you feel the freedom of the truth
These chains are destroyed by rust
After the rain, after the rain
Buckets
Filling up my cup like fuck it
I'm fucked up, I'm running
Make a mess Wu-Tang bring the ruckus
I'm making a mess
Suck it (suck it)
You left me out in the rain like I was nothin'
You ain't nothin', you're just frontin'
Walkin' 'round like you above it
You ain't above it, you're fuckin' budget (uh huh, yeah)
You make me sick to my stomach
I might throw up in a bucket
I might throw up get a bucket
I might throw up get a bucket
thanks fagni and daniel for the post layout x |
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