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Post by Julian on Dec 28, 2014 0:59:54 GMT 1
No, I won't make a huge post about saying I'm gay... I came out on the forum ages ago, when I just updated my "profile" in "Present You"  (And for the people who didn't know: yep, I'm gay  ) I don't have any problems with that (I'm surprised how fast I accepted it) but I don't know, how I should act with this in the public) I just want to ask you for help: I'd really like to come out to my parents and my classmates but I just don't know how  I came out to 2 friends yet and they both accepted it, but 1 of them isn't a friend anymore and the other one is kind of stupid, because she ask me things like "Wouldn't you prefer to have at least your first time (I hope that it's called like this outside of Germany as well ) with a women"  so she isn't a help. The thing is, that I just don't know how to explain. I never felt in love with anybody yet, so I'm afraid, that I might come out as gay and say a few months later "never mind, I was wrong". I'm pretty sure, that I'm gay but I still have that fear  Then I also don't know, how I should start it. At first I'll of course come out to my parents but what's next ? Telling all my classmates ? Telling it a gossip girl who tells it everybody else ? Or keeping it secretly ? I srsly don't know  I also don't really want, that my hockey team gets to know this but I don't really know why :/ the problem is, that one of my classmates is in that team and he isn't that tolerant... he isn't homophobic, but I'm sure, that he would tell my team I want to ask you, if you have any tips. Of course it's better, when you're gay and have some experiences with that (@lolzwut myloxyloto Jani) but I'm also thankful for help from other people  so please answer, if you have any advice !  btw, I hope that nobody has a problem here with that  |
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Post by Tom on Dec 28, 2014 1:09:47 GMT 1
because she ask me things like "Wouldn't you prefer to have at least your first time (I hope that it's called like this outside of Germany as well ) with a women" Aw please send her to me!   But hmmm... I wish I could give you tips for coming out though I think I really can't as I'm heterosexual and I've never doubted it. I think it's easier for a homosexual to get a relationship then for a heterosexual because as homosexual you're both of the same gender so the way of thinking about things will be most probably much more the same then when the relationship is between a man and lady. |
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Post by Christian AT on Dec 28, 2014 1:21:20 GMT 1
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Post by Julian on Dec 28, 2014 1:25:26 GMT 1
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2014 10:08:26 GMT 1
I honestly wish I could give you tips, but I was dragged out of the closet, and didn't tell (even though I was planning to do it not very shortly after. ) If there's 1 friend you can trust and tell, who will support you and go with you to tell, it's a lot easier to do, because you know you have "back-up", but other than that, it's always going to be hard, but keep in mind that you've got safe havens everywhere, and don't be afraid. |
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Post by myloxyloto on Dec 28, 2014 10:54:03 GMT 1
I'm proud of you! Well *plays Kiss&Cry's Domino Game* I understood I was gay since 13 years old or younger I think,it took me some time to accept it but due to my self-love I did some looong research and I understood it's okay,although some people are homophobic and react badly. I didn't tell nobody tho since my 14th year old bestie where he reacted really badly,told my classmates,school,they were calling me names and talk behind me back etc..I fell into depression but then again I stood up due to MY willing and to Kpop ofc (Jeon Won Diary's lyrics make me stand up again). Then I changed school and I felt more comfortable. I made new friends in 2013 and I told my 3 besties. I even started looking for relationships. On December 2013 I told my mum and now,after a year,we're totally okay with it. In 2014,I told some friends from the extra classes I've been attented,one of them was okay with it,a girl was okay with it but another boy wasn't okay so he affected the girl and now they aren't talking to me...not that I care tbh Personally,idk but I don't really care about others' opinion. When I hear someone is homophobic I don't talk to him not because I'm scared but because I have better thngs to do and ofc there are many other people who will accept me. My advice is not to tell anybody in your classroom. I understand the feeling you want to be free and all,but there is no need for them to know about your sex life. Remember that kids are the hardest judges and of course,in an enviroment you spend like 7 or more hours of your day,you want to have good relationship with others,huh? Just think what could happen if you come out...maybe some will accept,but some won't,and will make your life hard. I advise you to tell first to some close friends and then let some time pass like 1 or 2 months..then your parents...but If i were you I wouldn't tell my classmates Only the people close to you can know,the others isn't their business! YOU choose the people who you want to know. But remember,you can loose friends and you can be hurt.But,when I loose friends because of it I get disgusted in them because they were never my true friends because they left me for something that doesn't even affect them! So you can write those people in your balls,and go forward with the people who accept for your true self. Don't forget you will meet many people in your life! And one last thing,don't worry if you haven't fallen in love yet. Love is something very important,it doesn't happen every 5 months or something. Like and love is 2 different words. I can like many guys but I can't love all those but only one. And I know you are sure if you're gay,like if you like seeing dicks in your butt or having your dick in other butts,then you are gay my friend  (Except if you like pussy too or you just have a crush on a man and you tend to like women more etc etc but that's another story about sexual orientations) Excuse my rude language but I think we all know about sex in this forum so no need to hide or something Fighting!♥   As a gift,take a Stellar Marionette MV gif  |
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Post by Mordecai on Dec 28, 2014 14:10:26 GMT 1
People turning against you or backstabbing you shouldn't really intimidate or discourage you. Just like anything else out there in the world, there are always going to be people who support it and people who don't. The only person you should be aiming to please is yourself. If you want to come out simply because you feel as if you're being forced to or want to get it over and done with - don't. Something this sensitive that could go horribly wrong by saying the wrong thing could ruin it all. Take your time and wait for the right moment. I can't really throw myself into the situation because I'm not gay, but I would suggest you come out to friends or classmates etc. before your parents. That way you have a chance to practice or at least see people's reactions. I don't know about you but if I was ever gay and came out I'm 99% sure my friends would have my back. I also urge you that if things don't go as planned and your parents turn against you or don't support the idea, you must give them space but not enough for them to isolate themselves from you. I'm going to assume you are not yet old and wealthy enough to support yourself so your family is something that you must stay with. The only advice overall I have for you is that you should always plan for the best and prepare for the worst, come out for your own benefit and nobody else's and lastly to make sure that even if your family don't support or accept your homosexuality, that they have your back. Good luck and hopefully things go well for you |
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Post by Julian on Dec 29, 2014 16:43:07 GMT 1
Well, thanks for your tips I think, I won't tell all my classmates (at least not in the near future) but some friends and of course my parents I just hope, that my friends will accept it (if not, they wouldn't be my friends anymore, lol). And if not, I have more female friends and female teenagers normally love gays  |
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Post by fabbi on Dec 29, 2014 17:46:30 GMT 1
btw, I hope that nobody has a problem here with that Then he/she is definitely not right here. #justForTelling
And do your parents already know it? |
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Post by Julian on Dec 29, 2014 17:52:11 GMT 1
And do your parents already know it? Then I also don't know, how I should start it. At first I'll of course come out to my parents but what's next ? |
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I came out to 2 friends yet and they both accepted it, but 1 of them isn't a friend anymore and the other one is kind of stupid, because she ask me things like "Wouldn't you prefer to have at least your first time (I hope that it's called like this outside of Germany as well 
so please answer, if you have any advice ! 
(Except if you like pussy too or you just have a crush on a man and you tend to like women more etc etc but that's another story about sexual orientations)
?